Release the Kraken
by DrunkManSquakin
Summary: Naruto is just minding his own business when a girl, clearly not of this world, just falls from the sky and lands on his head. Hijinks ensue from there. MildlyOOC!NarutoXInkling! Crossover! Lemon! No Plot! Oneshot!


**Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fanfic. Splatoon is woned by Nintendo; Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release.**

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**Warnings: no real plot; crossover, slight AU, lemon, technical anthro, interspecies shenanigans, technical interracial, implied impregnation, and my fucked up sense of humor.**

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**This was not intended to be released, having been written as practice for the shits and giggles. Buuut, I felt that my my and Spy's readers needed a token of my gratitude for sticking around... and an apology for the delay in updating Into the Void.**

**That being said, this was mostly written as a thought experiment after Spy and I had a conversation about Splatoon. After a while, we jsut HAD to write a quick oneshot of how Naruto... ahem, interractiing with an Inkling.**

**Hope y'all enjoy! :) I'mma likely write some oneshots that are connected to my other stories in due time.**

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It was a quiet, otherwise-uneventful summer day in Konohagakure no Sato, the village hidden amongst the leaves, when a blond-haired, blue-eyed boy with whisker marks let loose a satisfied groan as he stretched. The boy was named Uzumaki Naruto. He was going on 13 and just finished his training regimen for the day in preparation for his upcoming graduation exam.

He was garbed in a gaudy, orange, white and blue track suit and blue, open-toe boots with a pair of matching goggles worn as a placeholder for one of those headbands donned his village's ninja. He was just about to pick up his stuff and head home when he heard a cartoonish 'pop' and a yelp soon after coming from right above his head and looked up just in time to see a girl landing on his face, crotch first, after appearing out of thin air.

She was wearing modest, black panties under a pleated skirt, but that was all he could see before everything went dark. It was only made worse when his head slammed into the ground as a result.

The girl in question took a moment to realize what just happened, but when she did, Naruto's guest yelped again and hopped off, doing her best to sputter some kind of apology. It was then that he got a good look at her.

Naruto has seen plenty of weird things in his admittedly short life. Hyper intelligent animals. People being able to defy the laws of physics by defying them; some examples being able to walk on the surface of water, walking up on walls, and along the ceiling. But nothing, absolutely _nothing_, could have prepared him for this.

The girl _looked_ human enough. But her… he had no idea _what_ to call it, but to him, it looked kinda like a pair of tentacles were growing out of her head, blending in with her hair… or what appeared to be hair? It was hard to tell, but it was pink in color, whatever it was, her eyes and tentacles sharing the same hue. She also had chocolate skin, similar to someone from Kumo if he wasn't mistaken, with long, pointed ears and what looked like a patch of black skin around her eyes.

The girl was wearing what looked like a business suit, at least to Naruto: a pair of thigh-high stockings; a plaid, maroon, pleated skirt; a beige sweater vest over a white blouse and a plaid, maroon tie, all under a navy blue blazer with a crest on it that Naruto didn't recognize. A pair of black, leather shoes and a... he was going to call it a hairpin... a hairpin on one of her tentacles finished the look. (1)

She had a tube-like object strapped onto her back connected a handheld device that reminded him of those hot-hair-blower things girls used to dry their hair... only it was _much_ bigger and the way she held it gave him the impression that it was somehow dangerous… despite it looking like a toy. A weapon, maybe?

It was weird, whatever it was… but Naruto ignored it in favor of the girl. He had to admit she looked kinda cute.

"It's okay," he assured, raising his hands placatingly in an attempt to calm her down. The poor thing looked so embarrassed, not that he could blame her. With a grunt, he slowly sat up and winced in discomfort as his head throbbed. Naruto rubbed at it to soothe the pain and looked at the girl with a curious frown. "What... are you exactly?"

The girl flinched at that, giving him an odd look. "What do you mean what I am…?" She trailed off, actually looking at him and realizing that he was something she'd never actually seen before… not in person, anyways, as his _entire species_ was thought to be extinct! "N-nevermind…" she sputtered, awkwardly, unable to help but stare. "I'm an inkling; we're basically a race of squid people. My name is Dessie, by the way." (2)

"Uh-huh…" Naruto muttered. Visibly not quite sure how to react to that.

The now-named Dessie then kneeled down to look at him closer, putting her 'weapon' away and reaching out to touch him. He felt more… solid than she was expecting. But, despite there being something hard underneath, his face was oddly soft. It was so strange to her! Weren't things with bones supposed to have scales? "Awkward question, but are you a… hoo-man?"

No one quite knew how it was pronounced; archaeologists were still bickering about it, but that was the agreed-upon assumption… how the hell they spoke the same language, meanwhile, would remain unaddressed. (3)

"Uh… you're close? It's pronounced 'hyoo-min'," Naruto clarified. "Unless you're talking about something else…? I dunno. But, yeah, I'm a human. Why do you ask?"

Dessie had an alarmed look on her face when asked and quickly came up with an excuse. "O-oh, it's nothing! I'm just… just curious was all! This is the first time I've ever seen a hoo- uh, I mean, hyoo-min, in person."

It wasn't entirely untrue...

"You're a terrible liar," Naruto pointed out with an amused look. "I can tell that you're hiding something."

"O-oh yeah? How?"

"Your body language," Naruto told her, giving the girl a warm chuckle. "I'm training to be a ninja, so I'm kinda good at spotting the signs. But, that's fine. No need to tell me something if it makes you feel awkward."

Dessie blushed hard at that, unable to look him in the eye. "Uh… thanks." Then, she took a deep breath to soothe her nerves and went back to exploring this young specimen before her. From what she remembered after all of those visits to the museum, he appeared to be an adolescent? She couldn't help but be so terribly curious in light of this new discovery. She was the first of her kind who's seen a real, live human! Oh, the things she could learn from him!

Naruto furrowed his brow with curiosity as he silently observed her hands gently rubbing up and down his arm. He had… _no_ idea how to feel about this, but it would be a lie if there was no enjoyment out of it. Then the Inkling's hands went to his torso where she let out soft curious noises as she gently rubbed her palms down his chest and to his abdomen, stopping just shy of his waistline, and back up again. Her hands were sending pleasant tingles throughout his body and his… privates were reacting to her.

Then her hands went back down again and Naruto went stiff in surprise when her palm brushed against his crotch… and his phallus grew hard against her touch when Dessie's hand gently clamped down on it with an adorable, intrigued coo. And then, she froze in place, realizing what she was doing and immediately withdrew, sputtering once more. "OHMYGODI'MSOSORRY!"

Naruto couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh at that. "I'm sorry, but that was just so cute!"

Dessie could only blush harder at that, averting her gaze once more. There was an awkward silence and then she cleared her throat. "W-well, it's only fair that you… you c-can touch me while I touch you, then," she said. Again, she simply could not look him in the eye, but she was just too curious to pass this up!

Besides, he was at that point in life where boys were always thinking with their genitals, right…? Surely, he was enjoying it.

"If you don't mind, of course," Naruto told her. "Don't wanna make you uncomfortable."

"Th-that just makes me wanna let you do it even more, you goof," she muttered, crossing her arms in front of her with an adorable pout and still not looking at him.

There was one thing going through Naruto's head. "_She's a pervert! She's a goddamn pervert... and a cute one at that!"_

"Well, if you say so," Naruto chuckled, scooting closer. "I've never been this close to a girl before, human or not… let alone a cutie like you. So, I'm kinda curious, too."

Dessie finally looked at him upon hearing that. "You think I'm cu-ooooh!" Her sentence was cut off when she felt him put his hands directly on her ass, and gave those panty-clad cheeks a firm squeeze, and Naruto was surprised to find they were actually… softer, more mailable, than he had been expecting. Her... other cheeks, meanwhile felt like they were on fire and she gave him a half-amused, half grumpy look. "If any other guy did that, I'd shoot him," she grunted. "You have no idea how lucky you are."

"You grabbed my dick," he shot back as a reminder, not that he was complaining.

"Exactly," she replied with a shrug. "It's... only fair, after all." She blushed harder, glad he didn't grab her elsewhere. "F-feel free to explore me while I explore you, then…" She then grabbed the straps of her ink pack and took it off so he didn't accidentally shoot himself. Setting it aside, she looked him in the eye before cupping his face and feeling those weird markings on his cheeks.

"Th-that tickles," Naruto said, trying not to laugh.

"Interesting," Dessie mused aloud, before exploring him some more. Soon enough, her hands went down to the zipper of his coat. "D-do you mind?"

"Not at all."

With his permission, she then unzipped his coat to see what was underneath.

Naruto, meanwhile, moved his hands upwards, careful not to lift her skirt and started feeling her hips… or rather, the area they should be. It was so weird! He should feel her pelvis there or something, but it wasn't there! "Don't you have a skeleton or something...? You're so squishy…" All he could feel was flesh and muscle, no bones.

"Th-the only bones in my body are my jaws," she replied.

"Just like a squid," he noted.

"Basically," she replied.

Now that he was looking at her closely, Naruto could see that she had three fangs, two on top that reminded him of a vampire, and a third one on the bottom, right in between them. Those aside, she seemed to have a very human set of teeth.

"We evolved from squids," she told him. "Kinda like how you evolved from... moan-kays, I think?"

"We evolved from the same thing monkeys did," he clarified, knowing what she meant. "That's all I know for sure, though. You'd have to talk to an expert." History and biology were not his strong suits.

"Very interesting," Dessie whispered. She felt up his chest and felt two hard nubs on the surface. So the males really did have nipples… She couldn't help but wonder if they worked or if that was a strictly female trait.

"So… uh… this is an awkward question," Naruto muttered, equally interested in Dessie's chest for not entirely innocent reasons, but he just _had_ to ask! "Since inklings evolved from squids does that mean your… uh… that you don't _actually_ have boobs?"

"Uh… no," the girl replied, blushing. "Those are ink sacs, so you can touch them all you want." She knew full well from how he was acting that he saw them as close enough, making it feel far more awkward than it should've when he did just that, but she said nothing.

Naruto, meanwhile, was like a kid in a candy store, fondling and groping her chest to his heart's content. "Sooo… do you spit ink or something?"

"Y-yeah… It's also very poisonous, so don't squeeze them too hard. You might push some of it out. I'm immune to it for obvious reasons, but you… might not be." (4)

"Uh… right. Thanks for the warning."

With that said, he was a bit more careful and the two of them continued to explore each other's body from there.

"So, do boys have them, too?" Naruto asked, secretly hoping this girl _actually was_ a girl.

"They do, but theirs are smaller to the point that they're not even visible," she told him with a giggle. Dessie turned slightly, eyeballing her inkpack and blaster. "That said, we're more suited for combat as a result, but they do fight, too, on occasion." (5)

"Huh, so it's kinda like humans, but in reverse," Naruto mused aloud. "For us, it's the men that're better-equipped for fighting, but women do it too, sometimes… usually as combat medics and artillery."

"Very interesting," Dessie commented. She'd definitely be looking into their culture more later on.

Again, the two of them went back to exploring one another, a comfortable silence washing over them as they did so. Wanting to test things out and see how far he can take this 'exploration', Naruto probed her defences to see what was acceptable or not. Outside of fondling her nice buttocks and her… ink-sacks, there was one other place where he dared not touch. Her crotch. But as the old saying goes: nothing ventured, nothing gained. Thus, Naruto took his hands from her chest and went down, leaving one hand on Dessie's waist and the other kept going until he stopped at her crotch.

"You touch me all you want and I touch you," he said. Then, Naruto pulled a startled cry out of the girl when she felt him cup her groin, and the blond quickly withdrew his hand upon feeling her hands clamping down uncomfortably tight on his arms. Prior experiences with the fairer gender told him he was about hit him and thus Naruto did what was expected of him: he closed his eyes tight and braced for impact.

Dessy gave him a mildly irritated growl and paid him back by undoing his trousers.

To say the blond was surprised would've been a gross understatement. He opened his eyes as his trousers pooled around his ankles and he inhaled sharply upon feeling the Inkling gently caressing 'mini-Naruto'.

Dessie, meanwhile, was absolutely _floored_ by just how big it was. "A-are they usually that big or are you just… well-endowed?" She simply had to ask!

"U-uh… n-not really? I think? As far as I'm aware, it's normal?" He wasn't that knowledgeable on the human body, but he liked to imagine that he was well-endowed. "I'm not into other guys, so I couldn't tell ya for sure."

"I see…" was all the Inkling said in response, her gaze drawn to the boxers the blond was wearing. Dessie was curious and wanted to see what a phallus of a human looked like… maybe… maybe he wouldn't mind?

Before she could go ahead and do just that, however, Naruto spoke up and drew her eyes to him once more, "I have another question if you don't mind me asking,"

"Oh? Go ahead."

"Your teeth…" Naruto opened his mouth and pointed at the place where her third fang was, "do they have poison in them too or…?"

"Uh, no," she said, giving him an odd look. "I don't see why they would be… why do you ask?"

Naruto shrugged. "Just making sure," he said, before grabbing her blazer and pulling her into a clumsy, but heated kiss. The squid girl's eyes went wide as saucers and she moaned in surprise against his mouth. As his tongue brushed against her lips, Dessie's arms reflexively grabbed onto his forearms to brace herself. Her knees threatened to buckle under her own weight and when she felt his tongue trying to probe past her lips, it took every ounce of willpower she had to prevent them from opening… and she ultimately failed.

The second her lips parted, Naruto's tongue dashed past and eagerly explored her moist cavern, careful to avoid her fangs as best he could. His tongue intercepted Dessie's before it could act and the muscle wrestled with hers and got it to submit in record time… though, the Inkling was in too much shock at being kissed to put up resistance. Dessie was knocked out of her shock when she felt one of Naruto's hands grabbing at her ass again and he pulled her to him with a grunt, making sure his dick was pressing against her mound in the process.

Dessie moaned into his mouth at that and as her eyes fluttered closed, she leaned into the kiss and pressed herself up against him. This… wasn't as bad as she thought it was going to be… not to mention, _"He… tastes good. In a weird way."_ she thought. Unknowingly, Naruto had the same thought.

Her hands then started moving on their own, reaching down and stroking the blond's member. To her astonishment and ever growing curiosity, she felt it throbbing against her palm… and stiffen. Breaking from the kiss Dessie leaned back and as her digits went underneath the waistband of his boxers, she looked down to see it and pulled the boxers out towards her… and found, to her amazement, he had more than doubled in size, not clocking in at a good seven inches! Also, his scent was driving her crazy, making Dessie weak in the knees.

"You are… a lot bigger than I expected…" she noted, before yanking his undergarments down and out of the way. "A closer look is needed… yes, a much closer look…"

Her words fell on deaf ears as Naruto was in a trance of his own. A very sweet scent of some kind was driving him insane; he had no idea what came over him in that moment, but the blond then started gently urging her to the ground and Dessie complied.

"I wanna see you, too," he growled hungrily. The way he said that just made the poor girl quiver. She put up no resistance when Naruto reached up under her skirt and slipped her panties off. The crotch stuck to her from how wet she was and soon after, Naruto was treated to the sight of her bare, hungry virgin snatch.

The smell grew stronger once her snatch was bared to him and his dick throbbed in anticipation at the mere sight of it.

"Well… one thing is certain," Naruto breathed, "You _definitely_ look human down there."

Then, before either of them realized what he was doing, Naruto came down onto Dessie, smothering her with a heated kiss Her hands moved on their own, pulling him closer while her legs spread wide in preparation for what was to come. The blond clumsily guided himself to her dripping entrance and slowly sank into the squid girl, drawing a hungry moan from the both of them. Then, Dessie wrapped her legs around him so that he couldn't escape, locking her ankles behind his back while her tentacles pulled him close as well, and their instincts took over from there.

Naruto spread his legs and dug his knees into the grassy ground to give himself better leverage for what he wanted to do next. Then, once he was in the assumed position, the blond began to withdraw from the Inkling's snatch up until her ankles prevented him from withdrawing completely and actively tried to pull him back down. Naruto allowed gravity take hold and he _dropped_ down on her.

_Whap!_

The sound of flesh meeting flesh resounded through the clearing as Dessie mewled like a whore into Naruto's mouth. The blond in question, likewise, groaned in pleasure into hers before doing the withdrawal process once more, and actively dropped back down before the Inkling had to chance to do it herself.

_Whap!_

Naruto and Dessie moaned into each others mouths. Sliding his arms under the Inkling, Naruto held her in place as he pulled out, and slammed back down again. Dessie bucked her hips against him and this time she was the one who escaleted the hungry liplock them both as he fucked her. As the seconds went by, Naruto steadily picked up the pace until he was outright _fucking _her little cunny with all his might.

_Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap!_

The lewd sounds of flesh slapping flesh filled the clearing as the human and inkling fucked each other like animals in heat… and then, Dessie's eyes rolled back. She squealed into his lips and her grip tightened as she came hard all over his dick.

Naruto grunted in surprise and shuddered at the sensation, letting loose inside her.

Dessie gasped and shuddered at the sensation of something warm flooding her loins; she instinctively pulled him closer, deeper, her body acting on its own and not wanting a single drop to go to waste.

When the two of them finally came down from the sexual high, the squid girl couldn't help but wonder if the two of them were genetically similar enough for something to happen because of this. It seemed highly unlikely, but something told her to be prepared for a surprise.

Unbeknownst to either of them, a certain fox sealed within Naruto came with some… side-effects.

Speaking of said blond, Naruto himself was just happy to get laid as the thought of potentially knocking her up had never occurred to him. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, there was a cry of outrage and both Naruto and his partner looked up to see a horrified inkling, not much older than Dessie, at the end of the… alley? When the hell were they in an alley?!

"Wh-what the hell?! Get a room, you degenerates!" The woman was so embarrassed that she hadn't even realized that Naruto was human of all things.

"Well, that's awkward," Naruto muttered.

"Agreed," Dessie replied. "Let's get outta here before she attracts more attention."

The blond nodded and thus they did just that, scrambling to make themselves presentable before running off and figuring out where the hell they were… and so, a new adventure began for Naruto in the city of Inkopolis. How the hell he got here would remain quite the mystery for several years, but that was a story for another time...

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**1:From what I can tell, schoolgirl uniforms don't exist in the Narutoverse, at least in canon, so a business suit is probably the closest thing Naruto has to compare it to. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Please do share your sources, though; I'm always looking for fuel to write more fanfiction! :)**

**2: Dessie's name comes from "degeso", which is the sound squids make, according to the Japanese, similar to how "nyan" is Japanese for "meow". A fun bit of trivia: this is why Ika Musume tended to say degeso at the end of her sentences.**

**3: Juuust a bit of fourth wall humor, lol. It actually drives me crazy when people from different worlds that have no business doing so are inexplicably able to speak each other's language perfectly with not so much as a damn accent.**

**4: I honestly have no idea if this is true or not. But, in universe, it would make sense for their ink to at least be harmful in some way to others, given that they seem to literally weaponize the stuff.**

**Until further notice, my headcanon is that other inklings are immune, at least to the point of it just feeling unpleasant, with the capacity to become immune to each other's ink entirely… assuming they're not completely immune by default. That way, Splatfest doesn't turn into a figurative bloodbath, lol. Again, though, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.**

**5: Inspired by a Gnoggin theory. I have no idea if it's true or not, but it makes sense. I totally recommend that you check out his YouTube channel if you haven't, regardless, though. :)**

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**Aaand that is that. All-in-all, this was a fun, little experiment if nothing else, even if it was just written as an excuse to write a NarutoXInkling lemon, lol. I intend to write more oneshots, but with actual, proper stories in the near future. XD Most of them are likely to be tied in some way to Naruto's Quest or Into the Void, depending on how I feel, but occasional randomness like this will be tossed in to mix things up.**

**Hope y'all enjoyed! :)**


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